Books about Depression
Life After Depression
One of the hardest aspects to communicate about depression is how all invasive it is. Depression is a thing in itself, a prescense I tried to escape but couldn’t. I once told my mother to try and imagine being on edge 24/7, always anxious, never really sure why you were anxious. But the most well known aspect of depression is the all invasive hopelessness. It’s easy to give up. For those of us who get treatment, there is the after shock. The years of making sense of ourselves. Depression was our crutch, our excuses, our reason for not being anything but a shell. But then there’s joy. The breathough of sunlight into dark corners. I realized there was a life for me. I realized I could be happy. I could be myself without apologizing. And I saw life all the more clearly becasue of the depression. I sometimes think it’d God reward to me, for fighting my way above the blackness of the all consuming despair. And I thank him everyday for life, for feeling again, for loving again.
Memoirs of an Hysterical Woman
When I was three one of my sisters was born. My only clear image of this event is standing in the doorway of our kitchen watching my father cook pancakes. I remember, even then, feeling a huge distance between myself and my father. There was a sense of standing outside space, invisible to everyone else. My young body felt a desperate sense of isolation. My father worked at the air force hospital as a lab technician. I remember my mother taking me to see him at work. His face was young, his hair dark, and his smile graced with a mustache. He would stretch his arms out and I would sit in his lap.
I would be the center of attention for a while. I grew up chasing that feeling. I remember my eighth birthday party as being magical. My family belonged to the LDS church. In the church when you turn eight, you’re baptized by one of the elders. The elders simply refers to the men in the church. Baptism is a milestone for any LDS child. The congregation treated it as a joyful occasion. There was a collective enthusiasm in the air.
I felt like a princess. The day revolved around this one central event, my birthday. When I remember that day, it’s filled with warmth and light. So many of us yearn to feel pure on the inside. We long to feel our soul has been washed of all the pain, hurt, and guilt we accumulate through life. I remember my baptism day being filled with an incredible sense of warmth and love. To me this was one of the few completely bright and utterly happy moments in my childhood. The black cloud of clinical depression would descend on me in the years to come. I would be the child sitting alone during recess. And this memory would fade into the background like a half remembered dream. But for those moments when I was dressed in water and came out of the baptismal pool I was filled with purity.
Later in my life I would let go of this moment. I would allow the bitterness of past pain bury those wonderful feelings of love and purity. Most of all, depression would steal my sense of self, any sense of beauty, joy, peace or even wonder in life itself. I guess this story is about coming full circle back to the purity and love God so willingly offers, if only we listen.
The most beautiful sight I remember seeing as a child was a spider web. It’s strands glistened with little beads of water. The day was warm, twilight coming on in it’s slow, gradual way. My friend and I stared at the web, fascinated. I felt no fear of this amazing little critter. To my child’s mind the spider was simply one of God’s glorious creations. The web captured the next morning’s dew so perfectly. The strands were thin pearls ready for a queen. Then life became noisy, the world changed. My family moved to a small town called Levathion in Nebraska. We arrived in the middle of winter. The town was locked in winter, ice and snow covering streets, roofs, and roads.
Great Books About Mental Illness
Some of those books are strictly about depression. Since depression is often accompanied by other disorders/conditions, I have included books that address other mental health topics.
Reading List
Prozac Nation
by Elizabeth Wurtzel
Wurtzel wrote this book as a memoir about her own experiences with depression. She talks about many aspects of depression I have encountered myself; promiscuity, insecurity, an inability to function. I found the book an easy read because of her humor and wit. For anyone who has grown up with depression, this book is a good way of realizing he or she is not alone.
Get me out of Here!
by Rachel Reiland
This book is also a memoir. Reiland writes about living with borderline personality disorder. Like Wurtzel, she has a vivid writing style that keeps the reader engaged. Don’t be scared by the book’s length, it’s a fast read. Reiland writes about her struggle to control fits of rage, suicidal impulses, and devastating mood swings. I found her story very inspiring.
The Bounce Back Book
by Karen Salmansohn
This book is a fun workbook full of practical ways to bounce back from depression (whether it’s temporary or a medical condition). I loved this book because the author includes her own experience and breaks everything into easy steps. The assignments are all short and focused on doing something. One of the best ways to imporve yourself is to create change by trying something new or breaking out of your routine. The book is also colorful and easy to read. No long, boring paragraphs here!
An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness
by Kay Redfield Jamison
This memoir about manic depression is well-written. The author details her struggles with manic depression in all its turbulence. The book is a graphic description of moods out of control; highly estatic one moment and plunged into black despair the next. The book tells the story of true madness, in all its complication. In so doing, Mrs. Jamison lends a human voice to what, on the outside, is beyond rational or logical thought. A great read for anyone suffering from depression in any form.
